You relationships are constantly put to the test. Routine, obligations and tiredness, small frictions of coexistence, financial difficulties, incompatibility in likes, the possibility of people who are interested or try to interfere in the relationship, resentments not shared. There are several obstacles for a couple to stay together in a healthy way. Therefore, it is necessary to know some attitudes that impede the evolution of your relationship.
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Attitudes that are a hindrance to your relationship
You have to understand that relationships are always a joint effort. In this way, just placing your needs on someone else is the opposite of what is discussed by a healthy relationship. If you feel that your relationship is stagnant, surrounded by fights and arguments, maybe you need to reflect on these attitudes below:
Attitude 1: you don't know your traumas
Self-knowledge is never the final destination, but the trajectory. We are always recognizing ourselves, exploring and modifying the character. Therefore, psychological follow-up and self-reflection are always good allies to better understand what traumas or wounds can negatively interfere with your relationship.
Some people are always waiting for the day when they will be betrayed or abandoned, for example. This abandonment trauma, which can start in childhood or through past relationships, can culminate in a relationship emotionally distant, in which the person is always prepared for the worst and, therefore, does not completely surrender to the love. Therefore, knowing your traumas is important – either for the evolution of the relationship, or for the individual who suffers from it.
Attitude 2: You overcharge the other person and vice versa
Human beings are constantly trying to get it right. However, we are all flawed and we know it. For this reason, you may make mistakes that, little by little, erode the relationship. Many people are extremely critical of themselves and place these judgments on their partner. However, placing this emotional burden on someone else is a sign of anxiety that can profoundly affect your partner's self-esteem.
At the same time, your partner may suffer from self-harm and you may be the victim. Suddenly, nothing you do seems to be good enough, and you always feel unable to accomplish tasks, no matter how hard you try. This is a red flag, after all, relationships are almost always worn down by this.
Attitude 3: You are not focused on your needs
For a relationship to last, the wishes of both need to be taken into consideration. And not only the wills and feelings about the relationship itself are important, but also personal and individual issues. Not seeming to care about the partner's wishes generates the emotional distance we mentioned above.
For example: imagine that your partner is a more quiet, shy and reclusive person. You are the sociable and party type. It is necessary to take into account that each one has its particularities and, therefore, the balance has to be found. It may be necessary to reduce the frequency of parties a little - or, at the very least, go without the person - while they need to make a little more effort to go to such events – or at least not get upset when you go and she does not.