Education is a big challenge, especially for parents. Nowadays, it is normal to see the child refute and question the teaching of the parents and, many times, the the only way out found by them is punishment or negotiation with the child: if you don't do that, you don't win that one. Teaching with threats is dangerous and, most of the time, does not generate many results. There is no right or wrong way to educate, however, psychologists say that dialogue is always the best alternative. But for this dialogue to take place, there needs to be “own ground” for the discussion to grow in a healthy way, and for that it is necessary to avoid some mistakes when educating your children. Here are six mistakes and tips for you not to make mistakes when talking to your child.
Mistake 1: Not Explaining
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Rules are best supported if they are understood. Saying no and having no as the only explanation hinders learning. Parents do not necessarily have to give satisfaction to their children, however, the child must understand why why he cannot do something, so that he learns the dangers of life and develops his own sense of critical. As he learns the reasons for doing or not doing something, over time he will not accept the wrong as easily as others, since he understands what is not right according to the country. Already saying no for no can cause problems, because everything that has not yet been instructed with no, becomes a sign that it can be done.
Mistake 2: Saying one thing and doing another
It's no use just saying. Children do not learn from what is said, but copy what is seen. Telling a child that you shouldn't smoke with a cigarette in your mouth is not the best option. Much less yell at the child telling her to stop throwing a tantrum. Remember that the child is like a sponge, which will absorb everything that the parents express at home, and the younger the child, the more he will copy you and the less he will listen to you.
Mistake 3: Disavowing the father (or mother) in front of the child
It is common to see negotiation between the child and the parents. Asking the father for something and then asking the mother for the same thing is a child's strategy that can lead to bad manners and a lot of confusion in his head. Before prohibiting or allowing something, parents should talk away from the child so that the information passed be the same, preventing one from releasing what the other has denied or showing that one's voice is louder than the other's. other.
Mistake 4: Giving in to a toddler's tantrum
Don't let the child be in charge. It doesn't matter if you're going to throw a tantrum or scream. Do your job as an educator. Giving in a tantrum demonstrates that there is competition, and that in this case the child was victorious. Thus, she will always seek artifices to become superior to her parents. There can be no gaps in education, the commanding voice must be that of the parents, regardless of what the child does.
The best thing to do is guide the child that the tantrum is no use, always with a lot of dialogue. Eventually she will realize that crying won't work.
Mistake 5: Making threats
It is common to see parents threaten to remove something that the child likes to do or eat, if the child does not obey. That buys good behavior, but it doesn't create good nature. The child must understand what he must do, and not feel coerced into doing the right thing. This generates minor traumas and barriers to learning. Likewise, it is a mistake to buy the child, giving prizes if he does something right. The child must develop good behavior naturally, without artifices, whether positive or negative.
Mistake 6: Telling little lies
Telling that the bogeyman will catch or use small costumes for the child to obey is not a good way to deal with the little ones. According to psychologist Rosmairi Oliveira, from São Paulo, children can perceive small lies. “Parents who lie are likely to raise children who are also liars,” she says. Over time, the child can tell little lies, as he has learned that the ends justify the means.
These are some tips so that you can better deal with your children. Remember that the child's base is essential to form a good-natured citizen and avoid complications in the future.
