We don't always stay in a relationship or marriage for love, did you know? So it is! There are many times when, even unconsciously, we choose to stay in an unhappy relationship. Has this ever happened to you?
It's good to point out here that this doesn't just apply to love relationships. It also applies to a friendship, a job or family bond – in this case the hole is lower, but we can talk about that in another text.
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What you need to know is that being trapped in an unhappy relationship can have serious consequences for our health. We can become chronically stressed, develop anxiety and depression or even change the view we have of life as a whole.
For all this, it is crucial to identify what holds us in these relationships in order to find ways to get rid of these toxic relationships. Keep reading and learn more about it!
3 things that keep us in an unhappy relationship
The “investment” in commitment
A serious relationship is like a risky investment. Sometimes, you will invest everything you have, but you will not get any return. And sometimes you won't have anything, but you'll try to invest more so you don't lose the card.
Many times in a relationship we do exactly that, perhaps because of the fear of admitting that the investment has gone sour and that the expenses have exceeded the profits. Or perhaps because of the hope that one day the “market” will improve.
Do as in a company or investment: Evaluate the risks, costs, and benefits objectively. See if you still have a good return and if it's still good for you. And above all, don't hesitate to seek help.
the self-indulgence
You know that story of "comfort zone"? It also applies to relationships. It's very comfortable being with someone you already know, who pays the bills with you, and who even knows how you like your coffee every morning.
Many people remain in an unhappy relationship because: either they don't want to lose the perks of partner – even if everything else is toxic – or are afraid to explore the unknown, meet someone new. Another scenario is the trauma that the next relationship will be just as bad as the current one.
We can only truly live when we open ourselves to the new. They are in situations outside our comfort zone that we grow and mature. Staying in the same place – especially when it makes you feel bad – will never give you joy.
The Aversion to Regret
This topic doesn't necessarily make us stay in an unhappy relationship, but it can really sour what you've already built.
This feeling happens when you are so afraid of making a mistake, that you end up brooding over all the likely consequences of that. This causes the person to be flooded with a feeling of guilt - without having done anything.
Graduated in Social Communication at the Federal University of Goiás. Passionate about digital media, pop culture, technology, politics and psychoanalysis.
