How Childhood Trauma Can Lead Someone to Attract Narcissists

Some people have the so-called "rotten finger" to choose friendship or love relationships. Much of this is due to childhood traumas that are perpetuated into adulthood through harmful behaviors. Thus, through the analysis of our childhood we can answer the question: “Pwhy do we attract narcissists?", check out.

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How childhood traumas explain bad relationships

Sigmund Freud's psychoanalysis presented us with an understanding that our childhood experiences determine much of our adult life. In fact, psychoanalytic analysis highlights the effects of these experiences, especially in our relationships of friendship and also of love, such as marriage or dating.

For example, Freud explains that through the “Oedipus Complex” there is a tendency for human beings to seek love relationships with people with characteristics similar to their parents. This is one of the possible explanations for the reality of people who always attract narcissists in their lives.

After all, a person who grew up in a home with narcissistic parents learned that love demands a certain dependence and submission to the other. Thus, the only way to show love that these people know is through the constant praise of their partner to the detriment of their own qualities.

People Attract Narcissists Out of Fear of Loneliness

Another way of thinking about the dependency relationship with a narcissist is when we realize that someone has self-esteem problems and a fear of loneliness. After all, all the narcissist is looking for is someone who is willing to constantly reaffirm their core qualities and characteristics.

Generally, these often end up relating to people with low self-esteem. That's because those who believe they don't deserve love or have good characteristics will always develop a relationship based on exaggerated praise of the other.

In large part, this represents a fear of loneliness, as it is believed that in order to be loved one has to “compensate” for one's defects through flattery. However, this practice can lead to serious illness, since no one should develop a relationship without first accepting and understanding the good qualities they have in themselves.