Have you also heard that phrase “every couple fights” in a justification for small, everyday events of conflict? As much as this sentence is right, it does not point out the danger that is hidden behind these “silly” conflicts of everyday life. To understand more about the subject, check out how small things result in the end of the relationship, according to this therapist.
The emotional wear and tear of everyday life
see more
Research reveals that teenage brains are 'wired' to…
4 cleaning habits you need to break to be happier
The Doctor. John Gottaman is a couples psychologist and therapist who has studied breakups in romantic relationships for years. After all this time studying, he began to form some thoughts about most breakups. For him, small everyday events are very influential in the decision to separate.
This means that divorce or breakup of a relationship does not always come after a big fight, or even a big bad event, like betrayal. On the contrary, it is the result of a series of small everyday events that generate stress in the partner and make the relationship unsustainable.
According to Dr. Gottaman, couples who are “masters of relationships” are those who have learned to make living together smoother for both of them. However, many couples do not know how to balance their own emotions and desires, which can make marriage very painful for both and make separation inevitable.
How to become a “relationship master”?
For Dr. Gottaman is not enough just to be faithful or fulfill the basic obligations of the relationship. After all, living as a couple will require that the couple knows how to deal with each other, that they know how to pay attention and that they manage to dedicate much of their life to their partner. This includes a series of daily attitudes that make living together much lighter and happier.
According to Gottaman's studies, those who learn to treat their partner with kindness and care in everyday life will experience a happier relationship. The same applies to those who learn to patiently talk about their annoyances, without ignoring them and also without turning them into fights.
