A emotional intelligence it is a fundamental skill for anyone who wants to communicate and be able to influence others.
In the book “Hidden Genius”, former FBI agent Chris Voss is highlighted as one of the institution's greatest international negotiators.
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During his 24 years with the FBI, Voss mastered a key skill: emotional intelligence. According to him, the secret lies in knowing how to listen and understand people.
Here are three things that people with high emotional intelligence do when communicating, as Voss has observed in his more than two decades of work:
1. speak calmly
One of the crucial elements of high emotional intelligence is the ability to to communicate in a calm and comforting way.
People with this ability understand the power that resides in the tone of their voice. They use a technique known as “The late night FM DJ voice”, which involves using a declarative, quiet tone with downward inflections.
This tone triggers a neurochemical reaction that helps calm the other person's brain and elicit a clear-headed response from both parties involved.
By speaking calmly, individuals with high emotional intelligence create an environment that promotes open dialogue and emotional control.
2. Repeat statements as questions
Mirroring is an effective technique used by those with high emotional intelligence. It involves repeating statements made by the other person in the form of a question.
By mirroring key words or phrases used by the speaker, individuals demonstrate active listening and a genuine interest in the other person's perspective.
This technique not only helps to maintain emotional composure, but also encourages the interlocutor to express himself in more detail. This builds rapport, fosters trust, and facilitates a deeper level of understanding between the two of you.
4. Label the other person's emotions
People with high emotional intelligence have a keen sense of empathyand are skilled at recognizing the emotions of others.
They use a practice called labeling, in which they verbalize and identify the emotions experienced by the interlocutor.
By accurately labeling emotions such as stress, frustration, or disappointment, they convey understanding and validate the other person's feelings.
In this way, a safe and supportive environment for open communication is created, allowing both parties to deal with conflicts in a simpler way.
By employing these techniques, you will promote constructive dialogue, resolve conflicts, and build more empathetic relationships.
Developing and improving emotional intelligence will have a huge impact on all your interactions, whether personal or professional.