Coach Reveals The Phrase You Should NEVER Say When You're Angry

Despite our best efforts to avoid it, it is inevitable that people will arouse our anger. Although it's a common feeling, the way we express this anger can have a significant impact on solving the problem. In these difficult times, we need advices.

Stef Ziev is a life coach who aims to guide people to find their life's purpose. During this journey, she teaches effective communication techniques and indicates what should never be said with a hot head.

According to Ziev, a crucial aspect of expressing any feeling in a healthy way is recognizing it, giving it a name, and allowing it to be expressed.

In addition to her role as a life coach, Ziev is the author of the book “The Choice Is Yours: A Simple Approach to Living and Leading with More Joy, Ease and Purpose”.

There are some guidelines from Ziev on what to avoid saying, especially in the workplace, in challenging situations that can cause a difficult environment for everyone.

How to deal with the moment of anger?

The phrase you should NEVER say, according to the coach is "You make Me Feel…"

Ziev points out that we commonly say “you make me feel X, Y and Z”, but that statement may not be entirely accurate. After all, each individual approaches an interaction bringing with them their past experiences, personal histories and emotional scars.

As an alternative, Ziev advises identifying the action that provoked a certain feeling and reporting the consequence of this behavior in your personal experience.

Her suggestion is to phrase it this way: "My reaction to your behavior is X, Y, and Z."

What to do after overcoming stress?

Once you're emotionally balanced and have established a time to talk, Ziev suggests following these six steps when approaching the problem conversation:

1. Define what you want to talk about: before starting the conversation, reflect on your goals and what you hope to achieve through the discussion. Consider how this conversation can contribute to a solution that works for you.
2. Conscience: when sharing your experience during the conversation, avoid making it personal and focus on the effects the interaction had on you. Communicate objectively and descriptively how you felt or how the situation impacted your thoughts and emotions, avoiding blaming or attacking the other person.
3. Assume your own responsibilities: recognize that you may have a direct part in the problem.
4. Requests: request what you need to get over the anger and move on.
5. Create partnerships: during the conversation, it's important to ask the other person what you need to get your request met. This approach demonstrates an interest in finding a mutual and collaborative solution.
6. Feedbacks: it is important to demonstrate a genuine interest in finding a mutual and collaborative solution. One way to do this is to ask the other person what they need to fulfill your request.

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