What is shyness?
Shyness is defined by some psychiatry manuals as a complex condition, which ranges from the feeling of discomfort to some kind of irrational fear when we are faced with a certain situation of socialization. Some authors argue that shyness is even linked to the origin of some panic attacks. Other authors argue that shyness should be defined as “social anxiety”, to describe the characteristic of fear in front of other people or specific social contexts. This definition of shyness as “social anxiety” allows this tendency to be located on the border between simple shyness and rejection of any new form of experience, becoming pathological in the sense of moving towards an "avoidant" configuration of personality.
Considering shyness as a tendency implies understanding it as a condition of all human beings, moving away from pathological definitions. In this sense, what matters to consider the degree of shyness is the level of influence that this condition has on everyday life.
Is shyness a disease?
Shyness is not a disease, so there is no way to talk about a cure. For some authors, it would also be a mistake to consider shyness as a deficiency to be overcome. It is, before that, a human condition that, in its fragility and vulnerability, configures itself as an important factor in survival in society. Other authors argue that shyness is associated with a poor repertoire of social skills, which would be related to the shy person's reactions, such as apathy, inactivity, passivity and indecision.
What are the main triggering events for the shy reaction?
We can mention the relationship with three types of people that are commonly described by shy people as triggers of shyness: people you don't know, that is, the fear of unknown people; people in positions of authority and people of the opposite sex, or to whom you are somehow attracted. In the list of the most mentioned, there are also: relatives, the parents themselves, the elderly and children.
Among the situations that most arouse the shy reaction, the following are mentioned: situations in which the shy person is the center of attention for some time; large groups; when they find themselves in a situation of inferior social status; new situations; situations in which the person needs to impose himself in front of others, among others.
Does the shy person have typical behaviors?
Most people have gone through situations where they felt embarrassed or uncomfortable throughout their lives. The reaction of feeling fear when we are faced with a situation of interaction with new people or situations is common. The difference is that for the shyest people, this feeling cannot simply be set aside or managed. Precisely because it is a deep-rooted fear, capable of altering self-perception, making the body's immediate reactions to the new perceptible.
Shyness seems to be characterized by three inner events: predisposition, strong awareness of the fear reaction, and the experience of embarrassment (shame). For example, the shy reaction implies that the person is predisposed to feel fear in the face of new experiences. When faced with the new, the shy person recognizes all the reactions his body presents: blushing, sweating, cold, etc. Finally, these reactions cause a feeling of shame for the person who, at this moment, believes that all these reactions are also being noticed by those in front of him. It is important to emphasize that a complicating aspect is precisely the shame of being shy, which immobilizes these people even more.
How to find out more?
The book “TIMIDEZ”, by Giovanna Axia, released by Editora Loyola in 2003, brings very interesting discussions on the subject, with a different perspective from the great diagnostic manuals.
The film "Anonymous Romantics” (Les Émotifs Anonymes, France, 2010) is an interesting example of the shy reactions provoked by the most diverse forms of interaction, both those in power and subordinates.
Juliana Spinelli Ferrari
Brazil School Collaborator
Graduated in Psychology from UNESP - Universidade Estadual Paulista
Brief psychotherapy course by FUNDEB - Foundation for the Development of Bauru
Master's Student in School Psychology and Human Development at USP - University of São Paulo
