For one relationship survive years and in a healthy way, non-violent communication must be a constant practice. For this, it is necessary to have a certain intimacy, a little experience and, above all, a lot of respect between both parties. Unfortunately, it may be that even in civilized conversations, some phrases are said and cause great wear and tear on the relationship. So find out which toxic phrases should be avoided.
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Toxic phrases in an argument
A maxim of healthy relationships is, "If you have something to say, always look for the nicest way to say it." It is important to bear this in mind, as the Affairs, especially the longer ones, need care so that they can stay alive and lit over the months. See just what to avoid talking between the two.
Give me an example of when I did this
If you say something like this, you are showing your partner that you are not making an effort to do a self-assessment, but are in an instant defensive position. Replace that sentence with: “I'll think about it, thanks for alerting me. Can you tell if I do this too often?”
This topic again?
Asking your partner this is practically a statement of “I don't pay attention to what you are telling me. asking,” after all, if this matter had been overcome, there would be no need to debate it.
I'm sorry that you feel that way
This phrase should be reserved for times when there is no need to apologize. If you're wrong, it seems ironic and unfair. It's like you're sad that the person is sad, not that you made them sad.
The difference is subtle, but it is important. Instead of saying something like that, prefer: "I'm sorry for making you sad or disappointing you".
Are you upset about it?
Delegitimizing the partner's feelings is the initial key to failure. People feel differently, triggers are triggered for different reasons, and being a partner it means supporting the other even if you don't quite understand why he feels that way.