After 35 Years of Happy Marriage, They Reveal the #1 Thing They Never Do

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In a groundbreaking study by renowned psychologists John and Julie Gottman, who have been married for 35 years and have a happy relationship, the importance of emotional awareness in couples therapy for to have more lasting relationships.

What is emotional flooding?

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The study involved a comprehensive analysis of over 40,000 couples about to start their journey in couples therapy. A crucial finding that emerged from the research was the detrimental impact of engaging in conflict when emotionally flooded. Emotional flooding occurs when people feel psychologically and physically overwhelmed, triggered by a sense of danger during conflict.

This overwhelming feeling often makes it difficult to have productive conversations and prevents couples from finding effective solutions to their problems.

When emotionally flooded, people have difficulty controlling their actions and may utter hurtful words that they have no real intention of expressing. However, the study highlights the importance of being aware of one's emotions and mental energy as a way to avoid overstepping boundaries and causing further harm.

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How to avoid emotional flooding?

The researchers emphasize that disagreements are a normal part of any relationship and can even be healthy in some cases. However, the key is recognizing when a conflict is escalating and having the ability to correct course and repair the interaction by taking a step back.

By recognizing the signs of emotional flooding and being able to temporarily disengage from the conflict, couples can create space for themselves in order to regain emotional balance. This pause allows you to reflect on your emotions, gather your thoughts and approach the issue with a calmer mindset, thus facilitating a more constructive dialogue and the search for solutions.

The findings of this study offer valuable insights into the dynamics of couples therapy and emphasize the importance of emotional awareness in maintaining healthy relationships. practice the mindfulness and recognizing when emotional flooding occurs can help couples handle conflict with greater understanding, empathy, and the potential for lasting positive change.

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