Do THIS to impress people with your intelligence

When we are faced with a conversation with someone we have just met, it is natural to feel a certain fear. Often, we believe we need to impress the other person by casually mentioning our professional position, education, and achievements. However, research reveals that this approach is misguided.

Contrary to common sense, the secret to a successful conversation goes beyond coming across as a conventionally intelligent person, so to speak.

During the writing of her book entitled 'NEXT! The power of reinvention in life and work', author Joanne Lipman interviewed several people to address the theme. A common aspect in all these stories was the need to develop new connections to make changes possible.

In her search for a more effective approach to making these connections, Lipman says she turned to social psychologists for expertise. According to her, surprisingly, these experts pointed out that the answer to being able to “impress” others in a conversation is much simpler than one might think: just ask for advice.

Experts say asking for advice is smart

As well as the experts heard by Joanne Lipman, researchers from Harvard and Wharton universities conducted a series of interesting studies in which students were asked to solve puzzles in doubles.

The particularity lies in the fact that some participants were informed that they would be evaluated exclusively on the basis of accuracy. of their responses, while others were advised that they would be evaluated according to the positive impression they caused on their partners.

During the experiment, students were presented with three communication options:

• “Can you give me some advice?”
• “I hope you did well.”
• The third option was to say nothing.

Results revealed that students rated for the accuracy of their answers actively sought advice, while those rated for the good impression they made were less than half as likely to ask help.

However, the results showed that when students were paired with a neutral or advice-seeking partner, they had a higher opinion of that person.

They perceived the person seeking advice as someone intelligent, in part because of the flattering feeling of being sought out for help. This dynamic shows that asking for advice not only strengthens the applicant's positive perception, but also generates a favorable impression on those who are approached in this way.

To have good conversations, practice these three things:

1. Do not be afraid

Harvard research suggests that fear can be overcome. This approach can be a crucial first step that could lead to an important business contact, a new opportunity, or even a romantic partner.

It's important to recognize that anxiety often prevents us from taking that first step, but by challenging that fear, we can open doors to growth and success.

2. Make questions

Harvard researchers conducted a study analyzing “getting to know you” conversations and face-to-face speed dating. It turned out that, in both cases, people felt warmer towards those who asked a lot of questions. Questioners were perceived as more attentive and understanding.

Surprisingly, the researchers concluded that most of us don't ask enough questions during interactions. This lack of questioning can affect our ability to make meaningful connections and better understand others.

Therefore, it is essential to remember the importance of asking questions and showing genuine interest in the people we interact with.

3. Remember that the conversation is not with your best friend.

When we come across successful, famous or experienced people, it's natural to feel the urge to seek them out as mentors or ask broad questions that require a significant investment of time.

It is important to consider the appropriate moment for this. Now might not be the right time to ask for mentorship or submit a detailed business plan for feedback.

Instead, it's recommended to ask specific questions and be brief when asking. Be mindful of the other person's time and avoid exceeding boundaries.

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