One of the main difficulties pointed out by the children, when questioned, is understanding what is happening in an environment with parents who have Borderline Personality Disorder.
There are negative impulses, which can become very dangerous – because they are episodes of violence, aggressiveness, or loss of sanity, without limits. It's as if at that moment their minds were blocked and there was nothing external to bring them back to reality. Continue reading and find out.
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These are truly dangerous situations for everyone, which create a general state of anguish, fear and tension that is increasingly damaging family relationships.
What is Borderline Personality Disorder?
Borderline Personality Disorder is a psychological and psychiatric health problem, in which the affected person has a personality with a pattern of constant instability. The patient may experience mood swings and behavior, as well as sudden and impulsive changes in attitude.
Living with a parent with Borderline is experiencing intense episodes of anger, depression or anxiety lasting from hours to days. Including suicide attempts. Therefore, it is a disorder that is difficult to diagnose, whose correct identification and treatment are extremely important.
How does the son deal with the situation?
In living together, situations such as fights, changes in emotionality and impulsive behavior arise, which greatly disconcert family members. It is a disagreement that encompasses the impossibility of empathy with the child, not knowing how to help him, what to do to make him feel good, watching how the child suffers.
Not understanding why the father passes from love to the hatred, so many times a day, getting into conflict, for no reason, because he blames him for something his son didn't do. Having been involved in a whirlwind of feelings and emotions, which he cannot digest, because they overflow everywhere, the difficulty of not knowing how to name what is going on with him.
Importance of a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder
The information offered about the diagnosis becomes very important. If the child manages to associate that all of his father's behavior is a product of his disease – and not because he is a monster –, the next step is to learn to deal with the symptoms of the disease.
Understand how the brain of a parent with Borderline helps to react according to each situation. In addition, the son learns to sympathize with his father and learns to manage his bad moments as well as his good ones. It's a condition that approaches to contribute to everyone's mental health.
Therefore, when children are asked what are the main needs they have in view of the situation with the father with Borderline Disorder, the first question that is pointed out is to have a professional who can understand the great difficulty they feel, that whirlwind of intense emotions, in which they are immersed without the ability to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
It is a need that implies emotional support, dedication to order and understand a situation that has gotten out of control for the whole family. After all, not only information is needed, but also emotional support in the process involving change.
This is a situation that, if not given specialized attention, becomes a chronic family malaise, with hopelessness, disappointment and sadness. The feeling arises that they will suffer a lot being alone, because they will not be able to become independent, be autonomous, so the future opens up with many fears and uncertainties.
Therefore, it is clear that this is a situation that forces children to understand the context before initiating a change. Borderline is a condition that must be accompanied by specialized and empathetic professionals, who provide emotional and technical support in the relationships established between members.
This is essential in these cases, as risk situations must be avoided. Given the problem, it is possible to help take care of everyone.
Beatriz Campos – Psychologist – CRP: 12/04116
Psychologist, postgraduate in Business Management Executive Coaching and Skills. Writer with international training for creative writing and storytelling. Researcher at Dakila Pesquisas, creation of Pedagogical Coaching methodology for parents and educators.